Today started off with a trip to The Galleria dell’ Academia, where Michelangelo’s David is kept. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the statue… WTF, seriously? I’d like to meet your rock. 

David is kept in a museum that has two categories of art; things that are Michelangelo’s David and things that are not Michelangelo’s David. People file in and make a bee line for the sculpture. Once they’ve feasted on David they walk around pretending to look at the other sad sacks of art history that got saddled with being in the same building as David. It’s the cultural equivalent of pushing lima beans around your plate to make it appear as if you’ve eaten them. I’m sure they’re all great works of art deserving of a place in history, it’s just tough eating steamed vegetables after being put on your heels by the main course. 

A quote on the placard by his feet said it best, and I’m paraphrasing here but just barely, “Michelangelo’s David is so perfect a sculpture that one need not look upon any other sculpture, ever.” 

Glad we got that out of the way 500 years ago. 

Fun fact: David was carved from a scrap of marble left over from another project that a then lesser known Michelangelo had the stones (pun intended) to ask for. The magnificent 16ft. David was one grumpy public official away from coming into existence. Imagine what other works we missed out on because somebody finished all the donuts in the break room before Doris got hers.